Visits From the Green Monster: Jealousy
I’ve had this post about jealousy brewing in my head for a while. I recently read this post by Anne at FlowerDust.net which is a response to Rachel’s post on resentment. Both are wonderful blogs to read.
Jealousy happens in everyone. For me I get jealous the most when reading Facebook, Twitter, and blogs. I get jealous when my friends hang out and don’t invite me. I get jealous while looking at my friends’ photos. I wish I had their ability to take brilliant pictures. Even their photo subjects make me jealous. I don’t dress my kids that cute. Their house decorating is beautiful and mine doesn’t even compare. It is so easy to think these thoughts! I don’t mean to think them, they just happen.
I have had to learn how to respond to this jealously. In college I wasn’t so great with handling jealousy and probably missed out on some good friendships. I certainly don’t think I am expert now. I am still prone to sometimes wallow in envy. I think that is where I get into trouble – when I wallow in the green crud of envy.
I am learning to get over my jealously quickly. I have to dismiss it right away or it can become trouble and divide my friendships. There is kid’s song that says,
“Be careful little minds what you think,
For the Father up above is looking down in love.”
I strive to be careful with my thoughts. I can’t let them run wild as much as it feels good to do it at the time. It’s definitely hard to do it, but I think it gets better with practice.
I have had to realize it is okay that they didn’t invite me to join them. It is not the end of the world! My kids are dressed cute in their own way. My house is beautiful. Then I sometimes I take it a step further. I make plans to hang out with those friends instead of wallowing and complaining that they didn’t invite me. I save up some money to decorate my house. I ask them how they edited their photos. I don’t think responding out of envy is horrible. It helps me not be jealous. So does learning how to be content with what I have.
In Rachel’s blog post she realized that someone was jealous of her perceived life just as she was jealous of someone else too. I forget that someone could be jealous of me just as quickly as I get jealous of them. It’s a vicious cycle. We all get jealous. It stinks that it happens, but I think we have to learn to overcome it quickly.
So so true.
Those parties people talk about on Twitter – they get me every time too.
I’ve found myself struggling with this a lot lately. I keep comparing myself to other women and seeing all the ways that I [perceive] that I fall short. You’re right that it’s something where you just have to take your thoughts captive. I’ve been convicted of that lately.
And, you’re right, you never know who is envious of YOU.
Yeah, I don’t think you are alone on this one
This is a wonderful post! I think everyone struggles with this or has felt this way. It really spoke to me. Thanks for sharing.
Great post. I think we all get bogged down with this insecurity – it’s such an easy, almost imperceptible one at times until it matures into something ugly and unhealthy.
Great post!!!! I love your transparency and I know that this is something that is hard for me too.
You are such an encouragement to me. 
Ahh…the good ‘ol green monster! It can really get the best of us sometimes, can’t it? Good reminder that we have to be aware of this natural human condition and not let it become disruptive, mean or just plain ridiculous!
Just want to let you know that, I linked back to an article at The Mom Crowd…still a useful resource even though it’s ended! Check it out: http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/when-is-it-appropriate-to-tell-people-youre-pregnant
(oh and Happy 30th btw!)
Ooooh, girl! You hit the nail on the head
So hard to remember that God has given me MY life, and it’s my job to live it to the max…not to go around chasing after someone else’s. Good post. And this time, I’m not jealous! LOL (And yes, belated happy birthday!!)
I TOTALLY deal with that every time I read a friend’s blog, check FB, and now Twitter…and that includes the posts I read of yours
I’m jealous that you’re such a good blogger/writer! J/k
I notice that I ALWAYS compare my weaknesses to others’ strengths. I have a friend who is a world renowned computer programmer (:)). Computer discussions with my friend quickly make me certain that my brain aspires to the diameter of a pea… possibly a mustard seed. In reality, though, I know a few things very well.
I’m grateful that God has mostly allowed me to work through my jealousy. When the layers are peeled back, jealousy is rooted in a belief that God built me wrong… surely if God had made me like “Person X”… then I would be perfectly happy, just like they are…
Thanks God for demonstrating your endless creativity and infinite ability to infuse beauty it in everything you’ve spoken into being. Thanks for all the people who readily admit their struggles. I pray that when they look in the mirror, they would see with your eyes… that whatever “other thing” they’ve let define worth and beauty would be replaced with your definition. I pray they would KNOW that you don’t make things that aren’t beautiful ultimately reflective of your glory… even them.
Wow Amanda…this is a great post…really, really great! I appreciate your honestly so much. I struggle with this too…more than I care to admit.
Thank you for being so real…that is something that I deeply admire about you.